I'm Pissed

A few months ago, when the riots in Ferguson were happening, I posted this Martin Niemöller quote on Facebook: 

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.+

I felt like I had to say something, but I didn't know what to say.  Now that there's rioting in my own city, I've at least started to shake off some of the apathy that I unfortunately let creep in when thinking that it was far from me.  In emerging from that stasis, I feel guilt for needing it to take this long.  But I'm also angry both at myself and the world, because this shouldn't have happened, and that's given me a voice.  Siri was the last straw needed to help me understand what to say.  

This morning, I was coming down the stairs carrying several other things, and accidentally held in the home button.  After the Siri's initiation tone sounded, I said, "Oops", which Siri took to mean, "Hoops".  She attempted a search, while I over dramatically moaned to my roommate, "What is my life?" Siri's response to the hoops search was hilariously timed: "I don't understand." My roommate and I took one look at each other and burst into much-needed laughter.  I held down Home again and cried, "Me either, Siri".  

Again, she responded, "I don't understand."

"OK, Siri, it was funny the first time," I muttered to Ida.  Held in the button:  "You don't know what it means because you don't live in Baltimore."

But then she took it too far: "Oh, no."  Baltimore is like your family: you can talk shit on it, but no one else can.  So this is what I need to say about Baltimore right now.

I'm pissed.

I am pissed that the riots are happening. This city belongs to all of us, and it is going to be hard to rebuild from this...but both sides have to remember that if we are to carry forward from this moment in a positive, constructive way. We want the rioters to have a care for Baltimore in these moments of chaos, but do the systems in place during the relative calm show true care either? "Riots are the language of the unheard."- MLK Jr.  Let's fucking hear what they are saying.

I'm pissed at the rioters because, while this is a powerful way to bring light to the deeper shit situation that the black community has been living with, struggling under, for so long...while I understand that I can't really even begin to understand, I ask you to hear this: there are other powerful ways to express it without burning our community down.  I don't believe the people involved in the riots are bad people on the whole, but think about the places that you've been attacking.  Setting fire to a senior center sponsored by a church?  There are other ways to tear down the diamond-strong cobwebs of archaic-- in both chronological and moral sense-- barriers; there are many types of strength. Could we work together to find a better way?

I'm pissed, beyond belief, about the many and disturbing, often violent, racist thoughts being shared right now.  For the most extreme in this group, espousing violence towards the black community, you are no better than the  "animal" and "barbarian" behaviors you claim to abhor.  For those racist in thought but perhaps not deed (yet): it's a slippery slope.  Back the fuck up before it's too late.  History is going to make the racists into unbelievable assholes, because that's what they are.  Do you really want to be on that side?

I'm pissed that corporations can't step up to be more of a positive actor in their communities.  People shouldn't have to work multiple jobs to make a livable wage.  

I'm pissed at the systems in place that make it possible for underlying (and still all too often not so underlying) racism to permeate our society to this day. The government deserves some blame in all this, for allowing the people it is supposed to serve to live in equal conditions perpetuated by the state.  In particular, right now my anger runs towards those cops who have abused power, negated their own higher calling. There are many great men and women who serve our local communities. But there are also those who do not.  And the cops who do not serve with honor do a great disservice to their nobler brethren.  

I'm pissed at myself for not being able to automatically be able to name more ways that the system keeps people down.  But I've come to the point where I understand that just because I don't know doesn't mean it's not there.  I'm pissed that it took me until today to  understand to what extent there are voices that weren't heard.  I'm truly enraged to think that there will still be many who won't understand that our society- the fact that we should not have been okay with not having cared about ALL people in our society- should be indicted along with anyone prosecuted for what's happening.

*****

I've been trying to make a point of embracing a positive outlook in life.  Purposefully playing gratefulness games like "Rose, Bud, Thorn", plus thinking of 3 good things in my life when I wake up, and three more when I go to bed.  I started thinking about the things that can positively come out of the anger felt by all sides right now.  We need to push for a change so that all people are included, cared for, and feel like they matter here in Baltimore.  How can the city matter to them if they don't matter to the city?

So here goes: most of all, I'd pissed at myself if I allowed myself to stop here, without trying to push myself a step further: what can I do to be a part of the solution here?  I have an idea, but I can't do it alone.  One of the most direct steps I can think of is to challenge the media to put pressure on the major players identified below (current, in-office politicians and businesses, in particular) to talk about solutions.  The general idea is this: media, please focus on being agents of change.  This is your chance,as an industry, to regain some credibility and honor.  Focus on examples of goodness here: the thousands of protesters, the many members of the black community who turned out not only to protest deep injustices but also acted as a force for calm, and an example of perseverance and positivity for us all.  Invite their leaders to share their ideas.  Get behind them and help put pressure on other institutions to act in bringing about some far-reaching changes.

Below I list some suggestions of actions that I think can immediately come as a result of today.  Do I have the only ideas, the most researched solutions, or the best solutions? NO!!  I know I've missed stakeholders, I may not have identified the optimum ways to initiate change...My intent in writing this is to hopefully spark a much larger conversation in Baltimore, in Maryland, in the United States, across the world, with the hope that as we spread this message, the best solutions DO emerge and the media supports the communities that it reports on by helping us to publicly ask tough questions- and make strident demands- of stakeholders in our community that hold power.  We need change to start happening NOW.

Steps for Greater All-Community Empowerment (GRACE) for Baltimore:

Governor Hogan: Appoint a high commission of study into systemic injustice in Maryland.  Follow through on recommendations they make.  Involve a wide variety of community leaders that are working towards a greater tomorrow.  Establish jobs as a result of the recommendations made.  Think about all of FDR's efforts to employ Americans during the Great Depression: how can you spark a similar rebirth here and now? DO A GOOD JOB ON IT.  This is your chance to turn tragedy into an example of your leadership and have it actually benefit your constituents.  Be a beacon of unity, equality, empowerment.  Do the right thing.  

Corporations: Pay people what they're worth.  Do you know what resources people have to emotionally invest in their communities when they can afford to work just from 9-5, knowing that the salary from that one job alone can provide for their families?  People tend their gardens both physical and relationally.  Is your bottom line really a better investment of your energy than being a part of creating growth, community, and above all, love?  Do you not understand that when more people thrive, so do more businesses?

Police: More accountability, more transparency.  Greater connections with the community.  Steps to rebuild relationships.   

Rioters: Under 18, given amnesty contingent upon no further destructive behaviors (e.g. more looting and burning) AND their participation in a job or volunteer program.  Maybe a portion of their job initially goes back to contributing towards repair of damages (a fine?)? Create jobs for them (paid youth internships for the high commission as researchers? volunteer-scholarship activities in their communities?  Again, opportunity for the creation of jobs lies with government, non-profits, and businesses.  Over 18, amnesty contingent upon college or job or technical school PLUS volunteering.  Support for finding employment/scholarships.  Let's give this group a second chance to be empowered within their community.  Rioters, prove your own strengths and capabilities in accepting the opportunity to be leaders for positivity within your community when the olive branch- I hope and pray- is extended.  There is such strength in the deep wells of emotion you feel: I recognize that, and I hope that you choose to use it for the good.

Haters: Your racism, which is unfortunately seeping up from all the cracks and sewers of the internet, is JUST AS DISGUSTING AS THE BEHAVIOR OF THE RIOTERS.  But just like I have to believe the rioters are not inherently bad people, I'll try to extend you the same courtesy, although honestly, it's hard.  I have a better understanding of why the rioters are angry than why you're prejudiced, unless you can just be up front and admit that you're choosing to be ignorant.  There are going to be people within this group who don't want to acknowledge the truth of systemic problems in America.  Doesn't matter: it's still true.  I know you, most of all, will take issue with some of opportunities that I suggest should be offered to rioters.  Let me appeal to you.  I entreat you to consider that, while we're all upset about the destruction that has been caused, continuing to alienate those who are desperate, does our community no good.  Never has the olive branch been so necessary, yet perhaps felt so difficult.  Yes, we were all scared and horrified that this happened.  But what should be the scariest part of all is that for the rioters, this was probably one in a handful of times that they actually felt heard.  That should terrify and devastate us all.  Let's have the courage, the grace, and the foresight for our community's long-term welfare to extend the olive branch anyway.

If you can't see your way to that, you failed that whole "hoping you're not a totally bad person" thing I was mentioning.   I don't know why you feel that black equality is a threat to you, but I know that it's only true if you make it so.  Stop with the self-fulfilling prophecy.  Jesus wept, and your opinions are irrelevant.  While the hand is always extended inviting you to the side of love and light, we'll be sweeping right by your outdated views and no longer allowing it to hinder progress. 

A final note to the racists on the slippery slope, who feel offended by this article, who would talk about equal rights but claim that it's not just the system, the groups of people who would still try to argue against the underlying point that the current state of affairs is anything but acceptable...  You're staring down a well: the bottomless horror of your soul.  It's not too late to become a good person.  How do you know if you've achieved it?  When you look at the situation and say, no: I believe that all races are equal to all other races, so there's something wrong about this situation, something that needs to be addressed.  If you truly have internalized the belief that all humans are equal- equally capable of success, equally capable of achieving their goals- then the only logical step flowing from there is this: The concentration of poverty within minority groups IS NOT BECAUSE OF ANY LACK OF SUCCESSFUL QUALITIES WITHIN THESE GROUPS.  There is an invisible barrier pressing against them in response to their race.  

If you can't acknowledge that it's unfair, that's still racist, even if it it makes you uncomfortable to think of yourself in such a light. Many of the people who perpetrate this silent crime of complicity don't realize they're doing it.  They would say, "No, I'm not racist, I just think that..."No.  We can't accept that anymore, not until there's a more equal distribution of wealth.  Because the road to hell is paved with believing that the current state of things is to be considered acceptable in any way.  I've been told that I'm a socialist, an optimist, I've been told that I can't be a good person because I'm spiritual but not Christian, whatever: call me anything, as long as you don't say that I'm ok with thinking that all people are not inherently meant to succeed.  I would say I'm pissed that, even if it takes forever and a day to achieve, you don't believe it's worth taking a stand and fighting for that better day in Baltimore, in Maryland, in the US, and globally.  That's why Siri was the last straw: I could say I'm pissed at everyone who silently accepts sheer inhumanity of inequality and refuses to act in changing it, because I think it's just morally bankrupt to stand and try to come up with reasons why we should allow any part of our society to suffer in such a large-scale way- how can we let this happen without wanting to address it?  But pissed doesn't even cover it.

*****

I'm sure there are going to be a lot of people who don't like some or all of what I wrote.  Fine- but give us your CONSTRUCTIVE solution along with whatever critique you offer.  I'd also love more conversation on what we as citizens can do.  My intent is to join my voice here to many others who ask for a better tomorrow for us all. It's the only way to avert the ending Mr. Niemoller wrote about; we are stronger when we stand together as humans.  So let's join our voices together to call for something positive to come out of all the negative: what are your ideas, your Steps for GRACE for Baltimore?

*****

+I may have initially posted a different version but am not currently able to find it on my wall history; Niemoller had said this quote while extemporaneously speaking in the post-World War II days and apparently there were various versions which referenced different persecuted groups.   

Costa Rica: Sola en San Jose

Early to bed, early to rise: the shuttle to the airport (for Steph)/San Jose (me) picked us up at 7 AM. It was the first burst of rainy weather since we'd been there that didn't clear up in less than 20 minutes, and I definitely enjoyed the quiet reflectiveness of driving through the rainy mountain passes.

All too soon, we were dropping Steph off at the airport and continuing into San Jose. I'd heard lots of things about the capital city of Costa Rica, and not much of it complimentary. After arriving at the Hostel Urbano (highly recommended- clean, quiet, and the type of clientele that's friendly and likes to talk with other lone travelers!), I passed the time till my bunk was ready by finishing my latest Paulo Coelho read, "Once Minutos". If you have never read anything by him, do it- probably my single favorite author, if I was forced to pick.

After locking away my backpack, I got instructions from the hostel on taking the bus, and caught one heading downtown. I made friends with my seatmate, an older lady who was a compassionate care companion for the elderly. We talked about her job, my trip, and at the end of the ride, she walked me to my final stop, the Mercado Central (Central Market). The desk guy at the hostel had warned me that Mondays are not a happening day in the city (most museums are closed too, unfortunately) and I could see what he meant: the shops at the market were set up to accommodate a large crowd, but the day I visited, flower sellers and meat men alike had little to do but lean over the counters of their booths to chat with one another.

After that, I grabbed a "pan de mozzarella" from a Samuelito's bakery and decided to meander the downtown area. 
I passed by the Central Market and the Metropolitan Cathedral, where lots of people were hanging out. 

I walked up and down a pedestrian walkway lines with shops (and bought another Paulo Coelho book). 


Walking back towards my hostel (the app Maps.me had allowed me to download a city map before leaving the hostel, and using GPS but no data allowed me to track myself in San Jose to make sure that I was really on the way home), I passed by the Teatro Nacional, the National History Museum, and the Plaza de Democracia. 

I saw Chinatown as I headed up the hill.

I also got to see some of the amazing street art, as well as one of the biggest cemeteries in the city. 

Back at the hostel, I spent some time reading, and fell into conversation with my new friend Matthias. We talked about some of our travel experiences for a bit, then he invited me to go see a movie- why not? We took the bus down to the theater about bought two tickets for 50 Shades of Grey. Neither of us had read the books, but he's a movie buff, and when prime time tickets are only $4, it seemed worth my while. The movie made me laugh more than anything, but we did manage to turn it into more of a philosophical discussion on the way home. We had a good time and hung out talking with some of the other hostel residents till bedtime.

On my last morning, I woke up to a delicious pancake and fruit breakfast (included in the $14/night lodging price!) and more conversation with Matthias and the others. All too soon it was time to head to the airport.

This is a trip I won't soon forget. It's been an interesting few months in my life, and this trip came at exactly the right time. I left feeling sad (as always) about having to go home, but also reinvigorated from the new experiences and new conversations.

Costa Rica: Continuing to La Fortuna with Steph

After an early breakfast, most of our group decamped for the airport in San Jose. Steph and I had arranged for a shuttle to take us to La Fortuna, an area near the recently-active Volcan Arenal. The area is well-known for adventure sports and its proximity to the rainforest. It took us about 6 hours of bumpy, windy roads to arrive.  My favorite item of note from  the ride was passing wind farms in Guanacaste (if this is interesting to you, stay tuned for some incredible stats on renewable resource usage in Costa Rica):

 We stayed at the Arenal Backpackers Resort (not one of my top recommendations to anyone who may head that way), where we had decided to try the safari tent accommodations. The tents were fun but ours, at least, got none of the refreshing mountain breeze that whipped through other parts of the hostel grounds. It was also a party hostel, and the tents were well-positioned...to receive most of the noise. Finally, there were several instances of "things gone missing" while we were there (nothing major for Steph and I, but I talked to another guy who was "unburdened" of both his sweatshirt and travel pillow in one day). One fun plus was the gecko that liked to hang out near the bathrooms:

After a quick lunch, we were picked up for the first of our excursions in the area: a rainforest hike leading to a 2010 lava flow from the Arenal Volcano. We went with a company called Desafio, and We were both happy with the experience. Our guides, Marcos and Andres, were bilingual, super informative, and liked to joke around. We learned that Costa Rica has 37 microclimates, and on the hike alone we experienced at least two: we started in the secondary rainforest and moved to the primary rainforest. The difference between the two is that the canopy in the secondary area is not as fully developed as a primary rainforest's canopy. The reason that the two levels existed here was because when the volcano had erupted a few hundred years ago and had destroyed the flora in the area where the secondary rainforest now stands; we were told that it takes around 500 years for a rainforest to regrow after a devastating event like a volcanic eruption.

We saw some fascinating things along the way.

A poison dart viper:

A tree that looks like a giraffe:

What I think was the national bird, the chestnut billed toucan:

A tarantula in a plant:

The lava flow itself (I was expecting smooth expanses, but should have checked in with Jon Zerbe first. I found out that this volcano produced basaltic lava, high in manganese, iron, and silica, and due to these components was more probe to break apart into the rocks that you see here):

Watching the sun peek through the storm over Lake Arenal:

Looking up towards the volcano:

After our hike, it was time to relax in some natural hot springs nearby: a great end to another fabulous day.

We slept in on Friday (partly to compensate for the party hostel scene's impact on sleeping during the night), and woke up ready for our ziplining canopy tour. Accompanied by the hilarious Alex and (a different) Andres, we spent the next hour or so flying through the jungle and practicing our best Tarzan yells. Beautiful views, conquering fears, and going faster than I thought possible, we zipped back to home base all too soon.

Photo by Andres on my phone

After ziplining, we spent the afternoon exploring La Fortuna. There's one main street featuring the church, the park, and most of the businesses (most of them restaurants and tour companies), with several side streets to explore as well. We ate at Soda Viquez, a hole-in-the-wall highly (and rightly so) rated by Trip Adviser. We also bought lots of local goodies at the supermarket, Super Christian #2, before ducking into some souvenir shops on the way home. The afternoon was spent relaxing in hostel hammocks before grabbing an amazing seafood meal down a little side street.

The next morning we woke to an insistent pattering: it was raining in La Fortuna, and we were well-positioned to enjoy its soothing sounds. Fortunately, the tents were under a roof, so we could hear everything without getting wet. The birds continued to call, and it was a really relaxing way to wake up.

Luckily, it had all cleared by the time we set out on our rainforest chocolate tour. On the way to the finca (farm), our guide pointed out a storied part of the local landscape, called the Happy Sleeping Indian.  Starting from the left, you can see his head, his chest, and then at the right (as the tour guide said) the reason he's so happy.  Haha.



That ended up being an awesome experience: Steph and I were the only people there, so we had our guide, Valeria, all to ourselves. And she was awesome- one of the most knowledgeable and friendly guides I've ever had. We learned that cacao started growing in South America, but spread to Central America via the original Juan Cacao-Semillas (Johnny CocoaSeeds)...that is to say, indigenous peoples who had brought cacao pods with them to chew the sweet, white pulp around the seeds, and had discarded the seeds as they walked.


We saw how to hand-pollinate cacao trees, although bees are important in the natural version of this process. 

There are several different colors of pods that grow, sometimes on the same tree!


This is what a new pod looks like inside (the white stuff was what I mentioned above):


The first step from here to cocoa lies in the fermentation process: seeds are fermented for 7 days (this box shows what they look like in each stage, with the beginning seeds in the bottom right box, moving counterclockwise to the seeds farthest along in fermentation found in the bottom left box):

After fermenting, they are dried for two weeks (they taste like bitter cocoa at this point):


Then the seeds are roasted (smoky flavor that I didn't care for):


Then it must be crushed, first roughly then more finely (this leads to chocolate nibs):




At this point, we learned, several things can happen. This product can be taken through more refining to separate out the cocoa butter from the cocoa powder (leading to two recognizable end products), OR it can be ground into cocoa liquor. That's the process we got to see, although there was nothing alcoholic about what we taste (womp), but it's called that because after the grinding, It begins to look more like a paste, due to the presence of the cocoa butter in the seed. From here, you can go two different directions.

The first is to whisk the cocoa liquor with water to make hot chocolate, which was a prestigious drink for the Aztecs, Olmecs, and other pre-Columbian societies. The word for chocolate may have come from their term for the drink, which meant "bitter water": they did not mix in sugar, only chile powder, corn, and vanilla (and maybe sometimes nutmeg). Steph and I got to sample several cups of cocoa (thankfully with sugar); I found myself liking the old Aztec version quite a bit.

  


The other product that can be made with the cocoa liquor is chocolate itself. We were also able to sample (too) many spoons of liquid chocolates plus mix-ins. I wish I had taken a picture of that: we could choose from four different flavorings (orange, almond, hazelnut, vanilla), add spices (hibiscus, cardamom, chile powder, etc), and finish it off with other toppings like nuts and raisins. AMAZING.




I would be remiss if I didn't touch on two more crazy wildlife sightings, a boa constrictor:


and some mating lizards:


As if that wasn't a good enough day already, we headed to see another waterfall up in the rainforest. It was about 70-75 meters high (230-245 feet), and the pressure of its cascade created a strong whirlpool current in the swimming hole beneath it. There were 497 steps down to it, but it was totally worth the climb back up to see it.

And on the way home, the top of Volcan Arenal peeked out from the clouds for a few minutes:


We were incredibly hungry at this point, and opted to try the Italian pizzeria for lunch. 



We did a little more browsing in the shops of La Fortuna, but I noticed a growing gastrointestinal discomfort. I spent the next few hours running back and forth between the tent and the bathroom, but was lucky enough that by about 9, my stomach had calmed down. It was hard to figure out what made my stomach upset: the only difference in what Steph and I ate was the mushrooms on my pizza at lunch, but I had already been feeling iffy before that meal. And weirdly enough, she got sick, but two days after me. Strange- but I'll still count myself lucky that it only infringed on one night.

I wasn't sure how my body would handle it, but gamely went along to our pre-planned paddleboarding session. Hansel and Will picked up us and we drove to Lake Arenal. After a brief dockside lesson on the basics of standing and balancing, we were on our way. It was a great workout, coupled with an amazing view of the volcano.

We paddled nearly 4 kilometers across the width of the lake, and took the boat back to the dock where we'd started. On the way, we learned that the dam on the lake had been built with lava rocks from the 1968 explosion.

The hydroelectric power generated by the dam accounts for an amazing 73% of the country's power needs. The windmills we saw account for 4%, geothermal sources another 13%. For those of you keeping score out there, as Dave Voigt would say, 90% of the country's energy usage comes from renewable sources. Incredible.

That afternoon, we packed our bags and got an awkward massage...we had found out about a deal offered in one of the local salons, for $35, you'd get a massage, a reflexology session for your feet, and a mini-facial. We arrived for the massage, and only one masseuse was there. We wondered how this was going to go down, but disrobed and arranged ourselves on the table (oh yes, there was only one massage room, so we got a de facto couples massage). This was only the beginning. The masseuse started by alternating between each of us...then suddenly, another woman had entered the room and became Masseuse #2. We started to relax...as much as the pan flute renditions of American hits of the '90 s played, including "Have You Ever Really Love a Woman", "Tears in Heaven", and the Titanic theme song. When we opened our eyes again at the end, the second masseuse was gone.

Our last dinner together was at the Rainforest Cafe, which serves giant patacones and empanadas. Nom.