I'm Pissed

A few months ago, when the riots in Ferguson were happening, I posted this Martin Niemöller quote on Facebook: 

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.+

I felt like I had to say something, but I didn't know what to say.  Now that there's rioting in my own city, I've at least started to shake off some of the apathy that I unfortunately let creep in when thinking that it was far from me.  In emerging from that stasis, I feel guilt for needing it to take this long.  But I'm also angry both at myself and the world, because this shouldn't have happened, and that's given me a voice.  Siri was the last straw needed to help me understand what to say.  

This morning, I was coming down the stairs carrying several other things, and accidentally held in the home button.  After the Siri's initiation tone sounded, I said, "Oops", which Siri took to mean, "Hoops".  She attempted a search, while I over dramatically moaned to my roommate, "What is my life?" Siri's response to the hoops search was hilariously timed: "I don't understand." My roommate and I took one look at each other and burst into much-needed laughter.  I held down Home again and cried, "Me either, Siri".  

Again, she responded, "I don't understand."

"OK, Siri, it was funny the first time," I muttered to Ida.  Held in the button:  "You don't know what it means because you don't live in Baltimore."

But then she took it too far: "Oh, no."  Baltimore is like your family: you can talk shit on it, but no one else can.  So this is what I need to say about Baltimore right now.

I'm pissed.

I am pissed that the riots are happening. This city belongs to all of us, and it is going to be hard to rebuild from this...but both sides have to remember that if we are to carry forward from this moment in a positive, constructive way. We want the rioters to have a care for Baltimore in these moments of chaos, but do the systems in place during the relative calm show true care either? "Riots are the language of the unheard."- MLK Jr.  Let's fucking hear what they are saying.

I'm pissed at the rioters because, while this is a powerful way to bring light to the deeper shit situation that the black community has been living with, struggling under, for so long...while I understand that I can't really even begin to understand, I ask you to hear this: there are other powerful ways to express it without burning our community down.  I don't believe the people involved in the riots are bad people on the whole, but think about the places that you've been attacking.  Setting fire to a senior center sponsored by a church?  There are other ways to tear down the diamond-strong cobwebs of archaic-- in both chronological and moral sense-- barriers; there are many types of strength. Could we work together to find a better way?

I'm pissed, beyond belief, about the many and disturbing, often violent, racist thoughts being shared right now.  For the most extreme in this group, espousing violence towards the black community, you are no better than the  "animal" and "barbarian" behaviors you claim to abhor.  For those racist in thought but perhaps not deed (yet): it's a slippery slope.  Back the fuck up before it's too late.  History is going to make the racists into unbelievable assholes, because that's what they are.  Do you really want to be on that side?

I'm pissed that corporations can't step up to be more of a positive actor in their communities.  People shouldn't have to work multiple jobs to make a livable wage.  

I'm pissed at the systems in place that make it possible for underlying (and still all too often not so underlying) racism to permeate our society to this day. The government deserves some blame in all this, for allowing the people it is supposed to serve to live in equal conditions perpetuated by the state.  In particular, right now my anger runs towards those cops who have abused power, negated their own higher calling. There are many great men and women who serve our local communities. But there are also those who do not.  And the cops who do not serve with honor do a great disservice to their nobler brethren.  

I'm pissed at myself for not being able to automatically be able to name more ways that the system keeps people down.  But I've come to the point where I understand that just because I don't know doesn't mean it's not there.  I'm pissed that it took me until today to  understand to what extent there are voices that weren't heard.  I'm truly enraged to think that there will still be many who won't understand that our society- the fact that we should not have been okay with not having cared about ALL people in our society- should be indicted along with anyone prosecuted for what's happening.

*****

I've been trying to make a point of embracing a positive outlook in life.  Purposefully playing gratefulness games like "Rose, Bud, Thorn", plus thinking of 3 good things in my life when I wake up, and three more when I go to bed.  I started thinking about the things that can positively come out of the anger felt by all sides right now.  We need to push for a change so that all people are included, cared for, and feel like they matter here in Baltimore.  How can the city matter to them if they don't matter to the city?

So here goes: most of all, I'd pissed at myself if I allowed myself to stop here, without trying to push myself a step further: what can I do to be a part of the solution here?  I have an idea, but I can't do it alone.  One of the most direct steps I can think of is to challenge the media to put pressure on the major players identified below (current, in-office politicians and businesses, in particular) to talk about solutions.  The general idea is this: media, please focus on being agents of change.  This is your chance,as an industry, to regain some credibility and honor.  Focus on examples of goodness here: the thousands of protesters, the many members of the black community who turned out not only to protest deep injustices but also acted as a force for calm, and an example of perseverance and positivity for us all.  Invite their leaders to share their ideas.  Get behind them and help put pressure on other institutions to act in bringing about some far-reaching changes.

Below I list some suggestions of actions that I think can immediately come as a result of today.  Do I have the only ideas, the most researched solutions, or the best solutions? NO!!  I know I've missed stakeholders, I may not have identified the optimum ways to initiate change...My intent in writing this is to hopefully spark a much larger conversation in Baltimore, in Maryland, in the United States, across the world, with the hope that as we spread this message, the best solutions DO emerge and the media supports the communities that it reports on by helping us to publicly ask tough questions- and make strident demands- of stakeholders in our community that hold power.  We need change to start happening NOW.

Steps for Greater All-Community Empowerment (GRACE) for Baltimore:

Governor Hogan: Appoint a high commission of study into systemic injustice in Maryland.  Follow through on recommendations they make.  Involve a wide variety of community leaders that are working towards a greater tomorrow.  Establish jobs as a result of the recommendations made.  Think about all of FDR's efforts to employ Americans during the Great Depression: how can you spark a similar rebirth here and now? DO A GOOD JOB ON IT.  This is your chance to turn tragedy into an example of your leadership and have it actually benefit your constituents.  Be a beacon of unity, equality, empowerment.  Do the right thing.  

Corporations: Pay people what they're worth.  Do you know what resources people have to emotionally invest in their communities when they can afford to work just from 9-5, knowing that the salary from that one job alone can provide for their families?  People tend their gardens both physical and relationally.  Is your bottom line really a better investment of your energy than being a part of creating growth, community, and above all, love?  Do you not understand that when more people thrive, so do more businesses?

Police: More accountability, more transparency.  Greater connections with the community.  Steps to rebuild relationships.   

Rioters: Under 18, given amnesty contingent upon no further destructive behaviors (e.g. more looting and burning) AND their participation in a job or volunteer program.  Maybe a portion of their job initially goes back to contributing towards repair of damages (a fine?)? Create jobs for them (paid youth internships for the high commission as researchers? volunteer-scholarship activities in their communities?  Again, opportunity for the creation of jobs lies with government, non-profits, and businesses.  Over 18, amnesty contingent upon college or job or technical school PLUS volunteering.  Support for finding employment/scholarships.  Let's give this group a second chance to be empowered within their community.  Rioters, prove your own strengths and capabilities in accepting the opportunity to be leaders for positivity within your community when the olive branch- I hope and pray- is extended.  There is such strength in the deep wells of emotion you feel: I recognize that, and I hope that you choose to use it for the good.

Haters: Your racism, which is unfortunately seeping up from all the cracks and sewers of the internet, is JUST AS DISGUSTING AS THE BEHAVIOR OF THE RIOTERS.  But just like I have to believe the rioters are not inherently bad people, I'll try to extend you the same courtesy, although honestly, it's hard.  I have a better understanding of why the rioters are angry than why you're prejudiced, unless you can just be up front and admit that you're choosing to be ignorant.  There are going to be people within this group who don't want to acknowledge the truth of systemic problems in America.  Doesn't matter: it's still true.  I know you, most of all, will take issue with some of opportunities that I suggest should be offered to rioters.  Let me appeal to you.  I entreat you to consider that, while we're all upset about the destruction that has been caused, continuing to alienate those who are desperate, does our community no good.  Never has the olive branch been so necessary, yet perhaps felt so difficult.  Yes, we were all scared and horrified that this happened.  But what should be the scariest part of all is that for the rioters, this was probably one in a handful of times that they actually felt heard.  That should terrify and devastate us all.  Let's have the courage, the grace, and the foresight for our community's long-term welfare to extend the olive branch anyway.

If you can't see your way to that, you failed that whole "hoping you're not a totally bad person" thing I was mentioning.   I don't know why you feel that black equality is a threat to you, but I know that it's only true if you make it so.  Stop with the self-fulfilling prophecy.  Jesus wept, and your opinions are irrelevant.  While the hand is always extended inviting you to the side of love and light, we'll be sweeping right by your outdated views and no longer allowing it to hinder progress. 

A final note to the racists on the slippery slope, who feel offended by this article, who would talk about equal rights but claim that it's not just the system, the groups of people who would still try to argue against the underlying point that the current state of affairs is anything but acceptable...  You're staring down a well: the bottomless horror of your soul.  It's not too late to become a good person.  How do you know if you've achieved it?  When you look at the situation and say, no: I believe that all races are equal to all other races, so there's something wrong about this situation, something that needs to be addressed.  If you truly have internalized the belief that all humans are equal- equally capable of success, equally capable of achieving their goals- then the only logical step flowing from there is this: The concentration of poverty within minority groups IS NOT BECAUSE OF ANY LACK OF SUCCESSFUL QUALITIES WITHIN THESE GROUPS.  There is an invisible barrier pressing against them in response to their race.  

If you can't acknowledge that it's unfair, that's still racist, even if it it makes you uncomfortable to think of yourself in such a light. Many of the people who perpetrate this silent crime of complicity don't realize they're doing it.  They would say, "No, I'm not racist, I just think that..."No.  We can't accept that anymore, not until there's a more equal distribution of wealth.  Because the road to hell is paved with believing that the current state of things is to be considered acceptable in any way.  I've been told that I'm a socialist, an optimist, I've been told that I can't be a good person because I'm spiritual but not Christian, whatever: call me anything, as long as you don't say that I'm ok with thinking that all people are not inherently meant to succeed.  I would say I'm pissed that, even if it takes forever and a day to achieve, you don't believe it's worth taking a stand and fighting for that better day in Baltimore, in Maryland, in the US, and globally.  That's why Siri was the last straw: I could say I'm pissed at everyone who silently accepts sheer inhumanity of inequality and refuses to act in changing it, because I think it's just morally bankrupt to stand and try to come up with reasons why we should allow any part of our society to suffer in such a large-scale way- how can we let this happen without wanting to address it?  But pissed doesn't even cover it.

*****

I'm sure there are going to be a lot of people who don't like some or all of what I wrote.  Fine- but give us your CONSTRUCTIVE solution along with whatever critique you offer.  I'd also love more conversation on what we as citizens can do.  My intent is to join my voice here to many others who ask for a better tomorrow for us all. It's the only way to avert the ending Mr. Niemoller wrote about; we are stronger when we stand together as humans.  So let's join our voices together to call for something positive to come out of all the negative: what are your ideas, your Steps for GRACE for Baltimore?

*****

+I may have initially posted a different version but am not currently able to find it on my wall history; Niemoller had said this quote while extemporaneously speaking in the post-World War II days and apparently there were various versions which referenced different persecuted groups.