Funky Spidermonkey and Other Such Tales

Date of writing: 2-14-09

Somehow yet another week has gone by without me noticing. Most notably, Whitney and I heard my favorite attempted pick-up line to date. As we were eating hamburgers and walking to exchange money on Línea, a young man passes us and says, “Quieren una salchicha?”…or, “Want a sausage?” I personally loved the timing of this, as we were eating hamburgers, and we all know the good American combo of burgers and dogs (or sausages), but I’m not sure that the fellow realized how humorous this might be to us. Good times.

It’s been a very musical week here for us. The Havana Jazz Festival started on Thursday night, and we were able to attend one of the inagural events: a concert by world-famous Chucho Valdéz. It was really incredible; not only was Chucho himself a treat to see, but he was accompanied by a heartbreakingly good trumpet player and three soulful sisters, who are Celia Cruz’s contemporaries and (to put it into American terms) could give Aretha Franklin a run for her money. Then last night we went to see Buena Vista Social Club. Their rendition of Chan Chan was…I’ll go with amazing, but that doesn’t really even cover it. I had chills down my back listening to it. One thing that was interesting to me is that the concert arena wasn’t even full- for BVSC! But then I talked to Ruben and he was explaining that it’s another generation of music and that most people now want to hear younger and newer musical styles. While I understand that, I know that a CSNY concert would still be packed in the US, with both young and older fans.

The other interesting thing in relation to the music we’ve seen this week is that in the concerts, we see a slightly higher level of commercialism than we do in other places. There are jazz festival banners up at each concert, and sponsors are listed at the bottom, including Bucanero beers and Havana Club rum. This is probably the highest degree of advertising that we’ve seen, and it’s a slight shock to the senses.

In other cultural news, we went to the National Museum of Fine Arts. It wasn’t bad, except for the fact that we were stuck with a tour guide and spent two hours there. I don’t particularly enjoy art tours; I just like looking at the pieces that strike me. My favorite was “Campesinos Felices” (Happy Famers) by Carlos Enriquez- it’s an incredibly strong piece of art which depicts the life of Cuban peasants. It was done during the era of a less famous Cuban president, but suffice to say that in that era they were all pretty corrupt and didn’t do much to actually help the people. I recommend that people Google it, but I’ll tell you ahead of time that the title is nothing if not ironic.

In order to get the best of Italy, you need to go to Chinatown. Strange statement, but it makes sense in Cuba. Whitney and I went on a date with our boos the other day. They said we were going to get the best pizza in Havana, so imagine my confusion when we roll up in Chinatown. However, they did not tell a lie. It was the best pizza I’ve had here, and would rival some of the lesser pizzerias in the US as well. That also ended up being one of the most fun lunches I’ve ever had, including lots of debate about whether the girls or the guys would win the next game in our soccer series (important note: we finally did beat them! The series is currently Guys 3- Women 1, but don’t worry, we’re going full steam ahead now. It’s quite satisfying in this culture of machismo to be able to crush the male ego, at least a little bet. Plus, with victory I won myself a massage too. Life is good.) We also spent time explaining some different English phrases to them, chiefly “spidermonkey”. The phenomenon of the spidermonkey abounds in old Cuban films. Mostly, it involves a sappy woman, an abandoned building, and a lustful Cuban male. The female spends the scene equivocating between her desire and her fear, at some points making advances toward the male, and at other points pressing herself to the wall while said arduous suitor forms the other side in an awkward sandwich, performing a move known to we canny anthropologists as “spidermonkeying”.

In final exciting news, I gave my boyfriend hives. More accurately, the acetominaphin that I gave him for his aching tooth caused an allergic reaction, and at about 5 AM this morning he was covered in hives. That’s what you get for helping people. No, but it was pretty bad- I never even thought that someone could have that type of reaction to a Tylenol-like substance. Happy Valentine’s Day, honey. It makes me think of different allergies that people have- in the US, people are prone to peanut allergies, but in Africa that’s the main substance given to kids suffering from malnutrition (thanks Megatron). Or lactose intolerance, and how it’s common in some people and not others based on their proximity to cows in early historical times. However, I won’t be giving more acetominaphin to other Cubans in order to test this theory.