Captain's Log: Day Trip to Soroa in Pinar del Rio

Last Saturday a few of us intrepid adventurers set off for the province of Pinar del Rio, the only province further west of Havana Province. We were aiming for a day of nature and whatnot, with waterfalls, orchid gardens, mineral baths, and caves on our to-do list. As the areas we were aiming to hit were supposedly only an hour or two away, we thought that if we picked up our rental car shortly after breakfast, we’d be able to see all of that and return for dinner. We forgot that we are in Cuba.

9:15- Leave apartment building loaded down with our supplies for the day, including a tin of crackers about the size of a cubic foot.

9:24- Arrive at car rental place, slightly dismayed to find a rather large queue. Stand in the sun, deciding that at least working on the tan is a better use of time than standing in shade.

9:48- Line finally moves up enough that we are able to sit inside.

10:15- The majority of the group is able to move into the rental agent’s office (there is only one rental agent present). However, as the office is small and 6 of us are there, two of us wait in the foyer.

10:24- Danny signs his life away and we are finally able to head into the garage towards our car.

10:29- We finally have managed to cram four of us in the backseat and are more or less situated for the hour-long car ride. “Contact!”, as Poppy would say, and we are headed westbound.

10:52- Somehow we haven’t found the Autopista (the highway we needed to take) yet. Ask and receive set #1 of directions. We are apparently going in the wrong direction, and pull a U-turn.

10:54- We’ve gone past a road that we think was mentioned in set #1 of directions. Another U-turn and set #2 of directions, completely contrary to the first. Third U-turn of the trip.

11:02- We follow what we think is set 2 of directions. Apparently, all roads lead to Havana, because we’re entering the city again.

11:15- We’ve stopped at a food chain to ask for directions. We might have understood them. I open a beer and bless the absence of open container laws in this country. Tucker Max would be happy here.

12:45-Driving through a tiny town. We have no idea where we are, and as the majority of vehicles in this area are powered by live horses, we are receiving a goodly amount of stares.

1:00- We are on a road. We don’t care where we go anymore as long as we end up somewhere.

1:30- We finally got lucky and happened onto the Autopista. As this has already been a much longer trip than planned (though most of it occurred in Havana) we take a quick stop by the side of the highway.

2:15ish- Arrival in Soroa. Our crackers didn’t hold us over, so we promptly stop for lunch. Good news is that all in one complex, we can eat, see a waterfall, take mineral baths, and smell the orchids.

3:20- After an atypically fast lunch, we decide to hike to the waterfall. We are charged 3 CUC to do this, despite Chaunce’s arguments about us living here.

3:30- Arrive at waterfall, which, while gorgeous, is so far not worth the time it took to get here or the money it cost us. Spend some time swimming/sunbathing/being stared at by 14 yr. old Cuban boys, and decide to climb back up.

4:15- Out of breath from the steep climb back up from the waterfall, we sit and have the Tu Kola to which our 3 CUC apparently entitles us. Realize that most things close at 5:00, so we won’t be able to see the caves, which are about 35 minutes away. Orchid gardens or mineral baths? Having already done the botanical gardens, we opt for the mineral baths. So foolish.

4:30- Why would we ever have thought it was a good idea to swim in something that smells like rotten eggs? Though we don’t know it at the time, the smell is destined to stick with us for about 24 hours, despite thorough cleansings in the shower. Time for another beer.

4:50- After changing our clothes, we head for home. Cuba has defeated us once again.